(1310-05-17) Reflections
Summary: Desarae reflects on a turbulent day's events.
RL Date: May 18th, 2018
Related: All Roses Bear Thorns, A Fall From Grace, Morning in the Palace Courtyard, Late Night Apology, Just Desserts and Coming to Terms

Valerian Dormitory - Rose Sauvage

Rose Sauvage has had a busy evening, as has Desarae since she's been actively serving within the salon the past few hours. Now, with the hour approaching a little after midnight, she's retired to the dormitories and sits once more with quill in hand, eager to record the dismal progression of her day.

I am no longer allowed to attend the Festival of Lights!

Of all the reprimands that I have received for my behaviour towards Ambassador Nimr, having permission withdrawn to attend the festival is surely the one that hurts me the most. The apologies that I have to make are simple enough to offer, for it is easy enough to spin wording so that it appears that one is apologising for one thing, when that apology is actually being offered for something else entirely. The one that I offered to the Ambassador was for causing her offence, and not for my feelings towards her. And I truly was sorry for allowing her that glimpse of my truest feelings, for through that slip my own happiness is now compromised.

The only thing left now is to meet with Baron d'Eresse, and this should happen tomorrow. I make no secret of the fact that I have gone out of my way to avoid him these last few days, but Séverine tells me that he wishes me to hear him out, and so I have agreed to do so. I suppose that a part of me is curious to hear what he wishes to say, for I find it hard to think of anything that I would wish to hear from him now. He has hurt me more than he has a right to already, for who is he to declare who is fit to serve Naamah, and who is not.

How I wish I were going to the Festival. I am sorry Mama that I shall not be there with you.

The words written down are read through once, and then with a heavy sigh are blotted dry with a dusting of pumice. Her journal is taken with her back to her bed, and after stowing it carefully away, she curls beneath her blankets and lies staring quietly into the dark.

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